True Love


So Queen L and I have found ourselves single at the same time.

As you read that you probably started to construct a seductive image in your head – a vivacious red head and a well-spoken brunette sitting side by side sipping red and planning future single girl conquests.

If you did, well thanks…it gives me hope, hope that Queen L will soon slide her ass off my now dead arm and i’ll be able to put the lid back on the Ben & Jerrys.

I can see white, which means i’ve made it to the bottom of the tub. It was a solo mission. I look to Queen L for recognition but she’s too busy fingering a jar of Nutella and eyeballing a small child who’s singing his heart out on the TV.

“His eyes are too close together, it’s fucking disturbing”.

What’s fucking disturbing is that we’re now kind of spooning but not in the sexy girl-on-girl way. We lay like this for several ad breaks.

Every now and then theres an uncomfortable noise that resembles an old dog crying, thats just one of us realising that we have to get back out on the dismal Sydney dating scene.

“Do you think I’m hot?” Queen L asks me

“Looking at you now in your old yoga tights with the crumbs forming on your Kmart hoodie and chocolate residue hanging around the sides of your mouth I’d have to say no – “

She takes in what I say but doesn’t bother to do anything about the chocolate around her mouth.

We then continue to sit in silence and although I’m a little sad that it’s come to this, I’m glad that I’ve got my wing woman back.

Today we eat, tomorrow we conquer.

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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