A Not-So-Good Friday

Ok, I admit it I’ve been spending a lot of time by the sea lately. Although I reside in Sydney I’ve had three trips to Noosa in the last four months.
I didn’t think it was an issue until yesterday when I was at the Noosa farmers market and ran into a boy I went to school with.
“Look who can’t stay away.” He said strolling towards me, his earthy tan and scruffy blonde hair evidence that he had never strayed more than 100 meters from the beach.
“Ha, what do you mean?” I asked giving him a kiss on the cheek whilst juggling my groceries.
“Jane (his younger sister) reads your blog thing, she tells me you’re always coming back for visits.” He looked at me as though he had caught me out, which made me feel slightly furious.
“Look, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you love reading my girly period blog.” I said jokingly.
He smirked and looked at me for a moment.
“And theres nothing wrong with admitting that you love Noosa.” he said finally before we both made up an awkward excuse to part ways.
Ok, for as long as I’m here I shall keep my head down.

I can’t ever remember hating Noosa, I just loved the city more and being the high school drama queen everyone knew about my aspirations to move away from this town. Now I’m realising that although I love Sydney and can’t imagine living anywhere else sometimes it’s nice to go a week without watching a homeless man take a wee on the side walk or having to pretend I love cold showers when the water runs out in The Dirthouse.

There’s also one other thing that Noosa has that Sydney doesn’t…


A calm place to find ones spiritual and emotional equilibrium. Duh.


As soon as I got home mum and I headed to Sunshine Beach equipped with a bag of goodies for a cleansing walk/swim. There is so much hype around coconut water at the moment and these days there are so many brands on the market to choose from. Personally most of the commercial brands I’ve tried are way too sweet, especially the coconut water cans – cool concept, seriously overpowering taste.

King Coconut Water is by far the best fit for a Queen. No too sweet and it goes down a dream.

After several failed bikini shot attempts “ew mum stop zooming in” “is that actually what I look like?” “shit I need to dig out that 30 Day Shred DVD”. I decided to start using my incredibly good looking mother as a model…


Originally a Sydneysider herself, mum is proof that an extended vacation to Noosa (25 years to be exact) isn’t the worst thing for your health and not to mention your physique.
After 30 minutes in the sun I was already starting to feel better.
The beach was beautiful, the water perfectly cool and translucent…
And that little bit of sun and salt water meant that later that evening my eyes sparkled and my foundation blended perfectly into my neck opposed to the dirty brown line I was getting back in the city as a result of my sun tan fading away.

The best part was that I was back with my sister from another mister, Rita…sipping wines and taking selfies by the pool.

All was swell in Noosa, in fact I felt like screaming from the palm trees NOOSA I LOVE YOU that was until we decided to try a new Japanese restaurant in Noosa Junction for dinner.
“That was not good.” I turned to Rita, my face screwed up from the raw slightly warm scallop I had just ingested.
“How so?” She asked sipping a Kirin cider.
“Whatever I just ate tasted like a slippery clump of snot”. I exclaimed pushing the rest of my platter away.
20 minutes later I went to the counter and paid for the meal. The older fair skinned lady at the register processed my order.
“Where are you from?” She asked as she typed the amount into the Eftpos machine.
“Here, but I live in Sydney” I replied
“Oh fantastic” she said.
“Where’s the best Japanese place there?”
“Hmm probably Toko on Crown Street” I said starting to feel slightly clammy.
“I will have to try it next time I’m there, you see this is mine and my husbands place…we’re always on the hunt for inspiration.” She handed me back my card but I was momentarily distracted by a loud noise coming from the pitt of my stomach and a mental checklist taking place loud and clear in my head.
Sushi tasting of clumpy snot – not good
Hot flushes 20/25 minutes after ingestion – not good
Loud noises erupting from the depths of my gut – not good
Japanese restaurant owned and run by two non Japanese people – really, really NOT GOOD
Noosa, I hate you!!!
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


48 Hours in Noosa
April 25, 2015
Get Looser in Noosa
September 11, 2014
What If?
March 26, 2014
From Noosa With Love
January 14, 2014
Mr.R & A Marvelous Homecoming
December 28, 2013
A Few Days Away
October 25, 2013
The Moment Of Enlightenment
July 01, 2013
The Game
June 23, 2013
The Super Man Repeller Juice
June 20, 2013


A Stylish Affair
Reply April 21, 2014

Hi, I've nominated you for the Liebster Award! Find the details on my blog. http://astylishaffair87.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/the-liebster-award.html

    Paige Bourke
    Reply April 21, 2014

    Thanks so much for this A Stylish Affair, will post answers to your questions in the next couple of days. Love your blog! Paige x

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *