Welcome To The Dirthouse


 

 
Welcome to the Dirthouse.
Its not dirty per-say in fact we like to keep this five bedroom town house in very good condition. It’s the stories that are told under this roof that tend to be dirty…in fact more times than not they’re absolute filth. What do you expect when you live with four girls in their early twenties, three of which are single.
The thing is we never try to be outrageous, it just so happens that when you’re telling the god honest truth things start to sound a little hairy.
If our life was a 1920’s sitcom you’d find us scattered around the living area, baking, dusting or painting our nails while talking about our idea of the perfect wedding/husband/family.
If our life was like how girls are currently portrayed on television you’d find us all wearing hideous pyjamas, bitching about boys and throwing around the occasional swear word.
However, if you were actually to walk into the dirthouse at right now to your dismay this is what you would find:
Four girls scattered around the living room having a colourful conversation most likely recounting the events of last night. Two of the girls (usually Queen L and I) trying to out dirt each other with comments like “I’m not a whore i’m just whorney” or  “my abundance of pubic hair at the moment is like a chastedy belt”. 
Sipping cold water out of wine glasses is as fancy as it gets as we casually flick through the pages of Australian Cosmo. The only thing that fuels any discussion is an insert about a busty blonde by the name Brooke Evers. Big boobied Brooke revealses that her beauty expenses includes a monthly colon hydrotherapy treatment. “It helps with detoxifying the body” Queen L mimics her direct quote in a hideously whiney voice. We all agree that anyone who willingly endures a monthly colonoscopy loves taking it up the a**. 
You see we’re pretty similar to any other group of 20-something year old girls, our conversations are a permutation of crude and debunched statements. However most girls only reveal their true selves behind closed doors in the company of their closest allies. Well consider this your official welcome, the keys to the Dirthouse are all yours. Take a peak inside the lives of some very witty and honest women, we might be a slightly curvier, overwhelmingly outspoken, finically doomed lot but at the end of the day we’re making it work one brazilian wax at a time.
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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