THIS IS IT! London & The Start of our Snapchat Romance


SORRY I’ve been so quiet! The truth is I’ve been in a corner biting my fingernails and praying to the British gods (Eddie and Patsy, darling) that I get my UK visa so that I can launch into the next chapter of my life.

For the past few months I’ve been quietly confident that soon I will be jetting off to the other side of the world, but as my mother pointed out while I was slouched on her couch with a top knot bun eating left over potato and gravy “What if you don’t get your visa?”

What if I don’t!?

The visa process is relatively straight forward, you enter your name here and tick the box that says you’re not a criminal and then you submit a million and one documents at a very intimidating office in your major city. They finger print you and scan your face and basically put you through a biometrics process that makes you feel as though you’re in training to become a double agent.

Once you’re done they submit your application and then you go to a pub where you order a very stiff drink and wait for up to 15 business days.

The only way of knowing if you’ve been granted a visa is when they eventually send you back your passport. The moment of truth is when you open your most sacred travel document, past the grim photo page and that’s where you should see it, a vibrant multicoloured UK entry clearance sticker.

Or so I’ve heard.

There is however a good chance that you could get your passport back and see nothing but a faded stamp from your 2003 family vacation to Bali.

A well balanced person should always consider all of the possible outcomes for any given situation. Considering I’ve been marinating in my own unemployment for the past six weeks I probably wouldn’t currently classify myself as that type of rational person, unless you call equal amounts potato and gravy “well balanced”.

The truth is I’ve given up everything to pursue my next move. I’ve resigned from a job that a million girls would die for, sold the entire contents of my apartment and moved from my beloved Sydney all in the hope that soon I’ll be starting a new life in London.

And so it was on business day one of the application waiting process that I realised that my entire future depended on that tiny piece of paper. That is when I took a detour off the highway and into the McDonalds Drive-Thru where I ordered 24 chicken nuggets for $10, parked behind a tree and proceeded to cry into the naughtiest chocolate thick shake you’ve ever seen.

It is now business day 14, which in real days (including weekends) is actually 20 days since I submitted my application and as I write this I feel like I’m 20 days late for my period and can feel several tiny humans of unidentified males growing inside my womb.

There is however a very positive sign of progress. A red postal slip of paper saying I have a parcel that needs to be collected, could it be…

After obsessing over the thought of not getting my visa for the past two weeks and eventually coming to terms with the idea that I may have to move back to Sydney the question now is…

What if I do get it!?

It would mean moving away from everything I’ve ever known, my home, my family and my comfort zone to start an incredibly different life on the other side of the world. A city that bares no resemblance to salty, sunny Noosa, a city that is bigger and badder than Sydney with sky high rents and the world’s most competitive job market.

I have officially come to a crossroads and can do one of two things. I can pass out from all the pressure and uncertainty or I can start a honest, candid Snapchat for you all to see!

I frequently get asked what it’s like to move to a big city, as that is exactly what I did when I was 17 with not much more than a towel and Sex and the City season one. Well now is a great chance for me to share this experience with you, the good, the bad and the ugly. The process of moving, finding a job and an apartment, navigating unfamiliar streets and passageways and falling in love with a new city.

Join me…

So add @heavenonbourke now on Snapchat to find out if I do get my visa, check out my home town of Noosa and come on this journey with me.

Like a threesome with a circus performer and a naval officer, I promise this next chapter will be anything but boring!

P x

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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