The Happiest Idiot on Bourke Street – My First Designer Handbag

What the fuck were you thinking?
That was the first question that popped into my head when I received my latest bank statement. You could say that for me buying a designer handbag was a temporary lapse of judgement, a fleeting moment of insanity or one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
For the purpose of the strict no returns policy I’d like to say it was the latter.

The first time I even thought of buying a insanely expensive tampon/lipstick carrying sack (which is essentially what a handbag is) was when Ms P introduced me to a little thing called My Net Sale.

“So basically you save a couple of grand if you do it this way” she said circling the stunning Givenchy handbag with the mouse.

“But even then you’re still paying two k for a bag.” I said not understanding how any rational human being could justify spending so much money on one item.

“Think of how much money you spend on stupid shit like going out, cab charges, coconut oil…and then think about how much you use your handbag.” She reached over and grabbed her Mulberry tote off the chair and put it in my lap.

It was soft yet durable with gold hardware that looked like magnificent jewels and the smell…oh the smell was unbelievably divine.

“Coconut oil is a necessity” I mumbled carefully placing the bag to the side.

“And so is a fabulous handbag” she replied.


I went into David Jones about one hundred and eighty seven times before I actually bought a bag online. At first it was just to look, then it was to compare.

Michael Korrs – Structured, sophisticated overall not bad $
Marc Jacobs – Great leather, a little too slouchy, good $$
Gucci – Very nice, yet somehow not quite right $$$
And then there it was Yves Saint Laurent, structured yet soft, striking gold hardware, understated yet timeless. I was in love, little did I know that this would be the most taxing love affair I would ever have.
YSL – Perfection $$$$
The morning I purchased the bag I was meant to be at a university lecture. After 20 minutes and three full buses had driven straight past me I decided to throw in the towel, miss my class and go home. When I opened my laptop to email my tutor the My Net Sale site was up on my screen, I clicked refresh.  My heart stopped. At the very top of the screen “Bag of the Week: YSL”. It was the bag I wanted.
Convinced that it was some incredible sign that the bag was for sale the same day I also decided to miss my class (which in hindsight isn’t much of a coincidence as I miss classes all the time) I came to the conclusion that this bag was destined to be mine.
This was it, I was going to buy it but not before a quick pep talk from Ms P
She was right, by this stage I was well and truly out of control. I put the bag in my cart and ran upstairs to grab my credit card.
(Time left: 10:15)
My hands trembled slightly as I typed in the details.
Shit, I need to transfer money.
(Time left: 05:22)
Taking a month and a half’s rent out of my savings account and transferring it to my everyday account was anything but exhilarating.
(Time Left: 02:01)
I was not only going through with purchasing this bag but I was against the clock with hundreds of other lunatics waiting to get their hands on my YSL if I was somehow not able to pay up in time.
I took one massive breath in, sucking back the fear, the doubt and the little bit of vomit that had now rose to the top of my throat.
Thank you for shopping with us.
Whether I liked it or not I was now the proud owner of an IT bag. Now I just had to wait 20-45 days for the bag to be shipped from Paris to The Dirthouse.
It had been so long that I had almost forgotten about it and then five days ago I heard a knock on the door. It can’t be, It’s early, Omg maybe it is…
I opened the front door to find a small man who appeared to be of European decent holding a box almost the same size as him.
“You Paige?” He said unfazed by the incredible package he was holding.
“Yes!” I cried tearing the box out of his hands.
I signed for the package and ran upstairs to my bedroom calling out for each of the girls as I passed there rooms. We all stood around the box. My heart beating wildly in my chest.


As soon as I tore away the bubble wrap the glorious smell of leather escaped from the box…

I paused several times before carefully releasing my child from the cloth case.

The girls each had a go at holding it before I turned to them, an expression of mock seriousness on my face.

“Can I just have a moment with the bag please?”

They left and I sat there in silence looking at the bag perched on the end of my bed.

So now I’m just another blogger with another designer wardrobe. Well, not quite. I’ve had to make a few changes in order to survive financially after my big spend…

Bag: YSL
Coat Zara: $100
Top: Target $20
Skort: Borrowed off Ms B $0
Shoes: I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you.
Shoes: Rivers $15 (Rip off Tony Bianco’s)

Some people think I’m an idiot for placing so much emphasis on a material item. And well maybe I am. But as I walk to my new job, head held high clutching my new best friend proudly I don’t care because right now I’m probably the happiest idiot on Bourke Street.
And I have a YSL handbag.
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


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Reply April 17, 2014

Gorgeous bag!!! I still don't own a designer handbag but I want one. One that won't go out of style too quickly at all because I don't have the $$$ for a handbag habit.

PS I have the same Zara trench! Looks great on you!

sanam arzoo
Reply April 23, 2014

I really love reading and following your post as I find them extremely informative and interesting. This post is equally informative as well as interesting . Thank you for information you been putting on making your site such an interesting. I gave something for my information. Expensive Handbags

Lovellie Sugar
Reply April 24, 2015

The handbags are considered as the best accessory that is meant to compliment and match various types of outfit. However, various types of designer handbags are available and I personally like celebrity handbags, that are available in a range of colors, sizes, designs etc. which is also a great idea to gift friends or loved ones.

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