Losing my #MBFW Virginity

I’m standing in the line for the Aje show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, beside me is a fresh faced girl in a beige coat and long trousers who is staring blankly into the sea of fashionistas in front of us.
What do you do?” I ask cooly.
I’m a blogger.” She says with a great sense of self purpose. There’s no further questions asked, she doesn’t ask me what I do, nor does she seem to care. Which is a shame because I came prepared with my sarcasm, my vibrator jokes and the hilarious real reason why I’m holding a front row ticket. The girl takes out her phone and pretends to do something really engaging.While the conversation between her and I might be over, the show must go on!

Every year around this time news feeds everywhere are filled with snaps of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. For some its the holy grail of Australian fashion and the social event of the year and for others, like me it’s merely a newsfeed barrier to my daily dose of Kylie Jenner’s lip’s and hilariously relatable quotes.This year by some stroke of fate I won two front row tickets in a 25 words or less competition. Ok so maybe it was Miss B (who might I add is thriving in her new PR role) who picked me as the winner for the social media comp she created for her client. Despite not actually having the honer of being properly invited I was equally nervous and excited.

  • What the hell am I going to wear?
  • Flares, flares are trending at the opening show of Ellery
  • *looks down at man size pyjama pants…flares?*
  • Ok just stick to black, black is stylish and safe
  • Google “Where is Carriageworks?”
  • Everleigh
  • Google “Where is Everleigh”
  • Right next to your house.
  • Okayyyyy
  • Bus or Cab?
  • Uber, IT girls only take Ubers.
Post #MBFW
What a night! A bevy of designers, bloggers, models, insta-famous, Sydney’s best dressed socialites AND a goodie bag! But before I give you all the gushing and glamourised details let me tell you the truth about MBFW.
As my beautiful blogger friend Sarah and I veered the corner of Wilson Street, Sarah let out a gasp of excitement.
Sydney Fashion Blogger!” she cried.
Where?” I said flinging my head out of the car.
There!” She pointed to a face on the side of the street covered in bleached blonde hair. She appeared to be walking away from Carriageworks in the direction of not-so-chic Darlington.
For some reason I was surprised that she looked so…mere mortal. I’d assume that someone with close to one million Instagram followers would have already been swept into a private car, certainly not walking on her own two feet in the direction of Redfern Station.
As we stepped out of our Uber at the entrance to Carriageworks, emotions were running high. A MTV host, a pair of insta-famous identical twins and a TV presenter all sauntered down the stairs of what looked like the entrance to a massive garage.
We’re here. Where you at? xx” I messaged Miss B to validate my existence at this event.
Miss B who was working backstage told us to meet her at the main entrance. In front of the main entrance lingered half a dozen photographers waiting for their fashion prey. I tried to act as incognito as humanly possible. To the left was what appeared to be a VIP bar behind a substantial barricade.
Tony Biviano” Sarah whispered in my ear. I felt another surge of excitement.
Everyone around me looked fresh, stunning whereas I looked like I’d stayed up all night to compensate for the fact that I had to leave Maple HQ two hours early to attend the 5pm show.
After my run in with the not-so-kind blogger in the line, the doors opened and we were all ushered in by the star of my show, Miro.(See super handsome security guard below)


The MASSIVE warehouse space was lined with black chairs and white Aje gift bags, for the front row only. Countless photographers held their positions at the very end of the runway.
I had expected to be assigned a back row seat when a lady directed me to the very first chair at the front of the runway. Next to me was a sea of stunning copper candles that just happened to attract some of the biggest names in style, all in search of the perfect photo op.(See below two pairs of bronzed pins: Far left: Elle Ferguson and front right: Kylie Clark)


Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I messaged Miss B while trying to take photos of anything and everything.

And then the FASHION began…

My favourite part of the collection was the evening wear. Stunning gold and black embellished pieces and whimsical floor length tulle. By the final walk Sarah had already decided which dress she was going to wear to her engagement party.

Due to my own personal financial crisis the only piece of Aje I was taking home was this luxe goodie bag. And I was more than ok with that!
So what was in the Aje bags??
Since it’s not cool to seem even remotely interested in free designer gifts on the runway, I’m happy to show you the contents on my gift bag behind closed doors…
The Aje gift bags included sweet Sodashi skincare, a selection of Bobbi Brown cosmetics, a bottle of Tempus Two champagne…
And a gorgeous copper Cocolux Candle!
Let’s not forget the Dove deodorant of course. Even Sydney’s most famous starlets get stinky armpits (shameless promotion).
While it was exciting rubbing blazers with some of Australia’s elite style icons and the queens of the Instagram, being a fashionista is not something I could do for a week let alone for a career. I’m more than happy rocking my flares from the comfort of my own home.
My conclusion of #MBFW in 25 words or less for all the bloggers out there?
Fashion is fleeting, orgasms are forever. 
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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