Inside A Modern Woman’s Handbag


Disclaimer: This is my fancy, Friday night cocktails in the city handbag. My practical every day Sportsgirl sack of floating tampons and breath mint graveyard is a whole other story.

I had a little giggle to myself when I was recently contacted by Durex to write a piece about their current range of lifestyle products. Their PR girl pointed out that while they would love for me to review the products, I was under no obligation to share anything too personal with my readers.

The truth is I have been carrying around a Durex condom in my purse for years, replacing it every time I had the sudden, uncontrollable urge to make latex based water balloons.

Let’s face it, getting a little too personal is my fortè. After all, people share intimate details about their relationships with me every day.

From my experience there are three things us women love more than Netflix and Nutella:

1. What’s in my bag segments.

2. Bloody great sex

3. And that piece of mind the next morning when we’re polishing of a bacon baguette at brunch and suddenly remember we did use protection. Pheww!

So I have combined all of this high level information to create the ultimate ‘what’s in my handbag’ post and hopefully protect you from contracting chlamydia #letsbehonet.

Inside the Modern Woman’s Handbag:

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  • Lipstick for the perfect pout
  • Wallet for unlimitted funds after 9pm.
  • Phone for taking bad selfies and drunk dialing old boyfriends, colleagues, landlords e.g. Anyone with a penis that you can textually abuse.
  • Knickers incase you end up staying at a girlfriends place and watching movies all weekend.
  • Expensive sunglasses to accessorise your walk of shame.
  • And a condom in case you find yourself cosying up to a tall, dark, two legged type.

The latter comes in very handy when you go out for drinks and truffle fries with your girlfriends and end up having one too many Cosmopolitans…

Screen Shot 2015-09-20 at 4.19.49 pmYou can’t help it that they’re so damn easy to drink.

Screen Shot 2015-09-20 at 4.20.46 pmAnd they come in a fancy glass, that makes you feel very sophisticated and alluring as you gaze around the room with your hungry eyes. Oh hello there stranger. My place or yours?

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Now let’s fast forward to the morning after, the night before…

You peel your face off the pillow, there’s one false eyelash on your forehead and the other is hanging for dear life on your forearm. That lipstick in your handbag is now smeared across your face. It is then you notice you are not in your own bed. Oh dear. Finding your knickers and your way out of the apartment can be painfully awkward. Figuring out which suburb you’re in, while trying to preserve your last 10% of battery can be terrifying. Then as you slump into the back of a taxi and rest your head on the window there’s nothing more nauseating than realising in the heat of the moment you didn’t use protection. STOOPPPPP! Pull over.

You can blame the man or the cocktails all you want, but the modern woman never leaves it up to chance. Which leads me to this…

A GIVEAWAY your vagina will thank me for!

I know we aren’t all going home with mysterious men and that’s why I want to introduce you to Durex’s Real Pleasure multi-speed vibrator.

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Can you believe the world’s number one condom brand is now doing more than just protecting you from unwanted nasties? They’re giving you up to 11 hours of uninterrupted pleasure with yourself too.

Here’s the deal. You can WIN your very own Durex Real Pleasure Vibrator, Embrace Pleasure Gels and of course a selection of condoms. All you need to do is go and put a condom in your handbag right now (both your fancy bag and your every day bag…you never know when the fever will hit). Once you’ve done it, drop me a line at Ask Miss P here. If you’re feeling brave share your most awkward sex/condom story with us while you’re there. It’s as easy as that!

My protection of choice is the RealFeel, non-latex condoms. They come in gold to match the hardware on my handbag.

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Styling my condoms with my YSL bag – it doesn’t get more personal than that!

For more tickles click here to find everything from vibrators to insightful blog posts.

The winner will be picked at random and announced next Tuesday the 29th of September.

Happy humping!

Miss P x

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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