The Calm Before The Shit Storm
- A few glasses of wine at The Dirthouse quickly turned into free bubbly at Hugo’s
- Mingling with men in media
- A dance off with a middle aged woman in bodycon
- An ex boyfriend behind the bar who thought it would be funny to over pour the alcohol in all of my beverages
- Where is Queen L?
- A lone cab ride
- Seven calls to Bill (fuck)
- And one message that read “weird conversation, everyone needed to pick it up from weirdness”
- Woke up fully dressed with my skort back to front
- Still drunk
- 13 messages 7 missed calls
- Not yet thinking that copious amounts of champagne is a bad idea, in fact feeling excellent…invincible even
- The realisation that Queen L had left her bag at the bar once again
- Neither of us particularly bothered at this point
- A tipsy walk to Coles
- Two bottles of juice to counteract the two bottles of wine
- Why won’t someone open the front door?
- Oh thats because theres no one else home…for the entire weekend
- Queen L jumps the fence again
- Yep, definitely locked out
- No phones, barely any money just two bottles of juice and a straw trilby hat
- All would have been fine if Queen L didn’t have to attend a wedding in under four hours and drive the mother of the bride to the ceremony.
- The decision to walk to Kings Cross to retrieve Queen L’s belongings
- Of course there was no one there
- A fairly sizeable tantrum
- Sitting at a dirty little convenience store staring at Bills number on the Internet
- Begging the asian woman behind the counter to let us use her phone
- The harsh realisation that this is the second time in three months that I’ve called Bill because I’ve locked Queen L and I out of The Dirthouse
- No answer
- Feeling about 10 years old and exceptionally pathetic and hopeless
- A locksmith
- A call from Queen K saying that she had left a spare key under the pot plant
For those of you who prefer stories of triumph and sunshine over stories of weakness and weirdness heres the original blog post full of happy pictures…
When I got home I sat out in the sun and I wrote something not particularly amazing or profound
Before lunch I wondered into the kitchen and made cookies, I allowed myself to open the oven door every five minutes because patience isn’t one of my best qualities.
And then for the first time in a long time I sat down and watched the midday movie which lucky for me was Scent of a Woman – One of my favourite films of all time.
Moral of the story is take full advantage of the good days where the horizon is clear and your eyes are sparkly because you never know when theres a shit storm brewing just around the corner.