Candy Cafe – The Ultimate Hangover Cure On Bourke

Quite frankly Lady B is going to kill me when she sees that I’ve actually posted the picture above. If it’s any consolation Lady B, you aren’t the only one who is guilty of getting absolutely blind drunk and waking up looking like you spent the night in a bush. Ok, so maybe we have never passed out in a bush (touch wood) but we do often wake up with a killer hang over craving 1. liquid of any description and 2. the biggest greasiest breakfast ever. When I was 16 my very wise dad pretty much guided me through my first stinking hangover, being the avid surfer he is he told me to take the pain as it comes and the best way to get through the hangover is to ride the wave (he then used to  make me a massive breakfast with bacon, lots and lots of bacon and that helped a lot too). Unfortunately now I can’t just head over to dads place when I’m feeling like a good hearty breaky, but lucky for the Queens and I just down the road from the DT is the next best thing.

Before we can head off to our favourite hole-in-the-wall breakfast spot we find it helps to dress in homeless person attire. Queen L usually takes the cake with her highly inventive outfits.

If you follow the bum in the pink hat you’ll eventually arrive at a saviour of a place called Candy Cafe 780 Bourke Street. Although this isn’t technically in Surry Hills its located towards the nicer end of Redfern and serves breakfast all day! Don’t be fooled by its incredibly outdated exterior this place has the cheapest breakfasts I’ve seen in Surry Hills yet and the food is pretty damn tasty too!

If you don’t believe me about how cheap it is just take a look at the breakfast menu. Free range eggs done however you like, bacon, roast tomato on sour dough is not even $10!

Pretty much every Saturday & Sunday we sit on a table out the front looking like a bunch of hideous pale corpses. Do be warned there is a male waiter there who loves picking out the hungover people from the rest of the patrons and he’ll usually say something like “shit you girls are so hungover hey!” or “Oohh I think someone had a big night last night” – I think he deserves a prize for picking up that we’re severely on edge or still slightly drunk because obviously most regular people couldn’t tell from the pictures of health below.

I ordered the bacon, eggs, tomato combo minus the toast with a side of mushrooms and avo. If you are eating bread (can you believe I’m actually sticking to this whole paleo thing!) then I suggest you order an extra slice of toast as these meals only come with one piece of toast and if you’re anything like me its nice to have enough bread to soak up your eggs (it’s unlikely that they will charge you extra for this).

Bernie also got the bacon, eggs and tomato on sourdough combo plus hash browns and a whole bottle of BBQ sauce. She won’t admit to you she has a problem.

Queen L was too quick and I didn’t get to take a photo of her meal before she dived head first into it. L gets the same thing every time – poached free range eggs, potato cake with spinach, hollandaise sauce, she also ordered a side of bacon and they chucked a tomato and some toast on there for good measure! Man I love it when Candy just surprises you with a freebee.
Queen L and I both had a delicious juice (made fresh – no bottled shit!) and Lady B opted for something more er…artificial…whatever does the trick. Truthfully I’m never 100% satisfied with the mushrooms, theres just something about them that tastes a little bit off. But the eggs are always cooked pretty spot on and the bacon is crisp and delish. Candy Cafe also has some of the better coffee on offer around the Surry Hills area and you can always expect friendly service and your meal to be delivered to your table within 10 minutes which is pretty good for Surry on a Sunday. I highly recommend Candy Cafe not necessarily for the atmosphere but for the tasty food at crazy cheap prices. Its quick and easy which is exactly what you need when you’re suffering from a dirty hang over!

After we bid Candy farewell (the lovely asian woman who owns Candy Cafe) we decided to head to Moore Park to soak up some sun.

Frost Fruits are also another hangover essential!

Unfortunately none of us were up for having balls in our face, especially Queen L who could have scared the fairly cute footballers off with just one glance. By this time of the day she looked like a mix between a scarecrow and a carrot – hot!

We managed to wonder home relatively unscathed from the night before, nursing only a slight head aches and a BBQ sauce stain on Lady B’s dress. We though it would be best to leave the homeless looking redhead where she belongs – on the nature strip.

We’ll be holding auditions for the next Queen L at the Dirthouse this afternoon, if anyone is interested please see the “contact” section of this blog for enquiry details. We’re looking for someone curvaceous, outrageous and a little bit filthy. Good luck to all applicants – we’ll be in touch.
Dirthouse Queens x


Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


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