Reality vs Reality


So I woke up with tonsillitis today – you know the symptoms: swollen glands the size of your head, usually accompanied with a fever and inability to swallow.

I contacted about 10 people at my new work to make sure it was ok that I took the day off, the whole time thinking that I was going to be fired because to them my absence would most definitely signify lack of dedication and commitment to work.

Felt mildy relived when I got off the phone with the fabulous CEO of my company (lingerie extraordinaire) until an hour later when she text me informing me that I had indeed booked her the wrong returning flight back to Sydney.

Now I was definitely going to be fired. I became absolutely delirious and cried on the phone to the airline because she couldn’t understand what I was saying due to my inflamed and now pusy tonsils. Yuck. And then I decided to take some super fabulous drugs and lay numb on my bed all day watching a string of reality shows.

After watching nearly every real housewife and over tanned guido in the universe I started thinking about popular culture and the role ‘reality’ plays in our society.

From Big Brother to Made in Chelsea reality television is on everyones TV/laptop/ipad/smartphone at the moment.

But it’s not really reality is it? A dozen people in a house surrounded by a hundred hidden cameras isn’t reality neither is five little rich girls sitting around not eating and planning trips to Cabo.

To put it simply reality is:

  • Laughing so hard that you accidentally fart in front of a boy you really like
  • Getting to the check out at Coles and discovering you have insufficient funds 
  • Having to put back that beautiful round hass avocado because you’re dirt poor
  • Starting a new diet every Monday and failing every Sunday because no damn fool should have to eat raw food all the time
  • Reality is Lena Dunham’s body
  • But not Lena Denham’s body confidence
While I’m on the topic of it Lena Dunham is a fucking pioneer.

Girls lovers out there – Do you ever notice how uplifted you feel after watching an episode (or more like an entire series at once)? 
You feel good, like someone has said has just come up to you and said, ok we’re not going to talk about our body issues for a moment and just revel in how good our twenties are. 
Unfortunatly shows like Girls are a dime a dozen. But the message is not. Tones of independent movie makers and writers convey this message of realness all over the internet, it’s just a shame that this material is rarely ever made mainstream.

Sometimes I wish I could be naturally skinny, wear fancy clothes and get paid to travel like Gary Pepper Girl but I know that I would be shit at it. That doesn’t mean that occasionally I won’t try to talk my life up but you know what’s funny? I always end up being caught out.

Sometimes I catch myself writing something that isn’t real and sometimes it takes someone close to me to ring me up and be like hey Paige your last post was good but it wasn’t great because it was made up bullshit.

So from here on out I promise to be honest with you. Go to Gary Pepper Girl and Tuula Vintage for your fix of beautiful aesthetics, read the Wellness Warrior for great green smoothie ideas to keep you on track with your diet…

and come here when your tonsils are pusy, you look like shit and have just fallen off the clean eating wagon because here you’re sure to get that much needed dose of reality, a version of reality that I hope soon takes over the world one snapshot of Lena Dunham’s hilariously beautiful naked body at a time.

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Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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