Not Quite A Cinderella Story


“We have stoner over here thinking that The
Dirthouse is the stoner motel and then on the other hand there’s Mr C grade
celebrity taking another C grade celebrity to the ball when he should be taking
you…see we’re undermining ourselves.” Queen L announces in a heroic manner.
“Well why would anyone want to take a
commoner to the ball anyway?” I reply sheepishly. 
*side note we’re talking about the Emeralds & Ivy Ball hosted by Ronan Keating, Lady B flashed me a photo of Bill looking dapper in his suit and tie. You couldn’t tell if you looked at me now in my dirty grey T-shirt and my old navy Vans but I assure you that I would have been excellent arm candy given the right pair of shoes and maybe a fairy god mother or two.
“Ok I’m going to go and have a shower.”
Lady B goes to stand up…
“Don’t go, you have all night to have a
shower.” Both Queen L and I pull her back down onto the sofa.
“That’s why I’m going to go have a shower
now and then we have all night…”
“To sit here on this disgusting couch like
a hopeless bunch of 20-somethings, let her have her shower she isn’t going
anywhere…for fuck sake the bitch lives down the hallway.” I feel like the
mature one for making the final comment but deep down I don’t want Lady B to
leave even just for a shower.
It’s a Friday night and we’re all a
pathetic bunch of attention seekers. The internet is down again so instead of downloading Sex and the City we’re forced to watch Glee on TV. 
“All I ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you” says the hot dark haired gay guy to the less hot gay guy. They both say yes and then a bunch of perfect looking cast members start singing harmoniously. 
Our faces are scrunched up so much that we look like three grumpy old men who just witnessed a shocking game of lawn bowls. 
“Love is fucked” I sigh.
“At least we have each other” Queen B feeds me a spoon of choc chip cookie dough.
Could we survive in this big bad world without each other? – Probably not. 
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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