Mr.R & A Marvelous Homecoming

My mother had a psychic reading at the beginning of the year. The woman told her that she’d fall in love in September, my grandma would die at the end of the year and a man would sweep me off my feet and show me the finer things in life. When she first told me this in February I laughed. My mum was happy being single, my gran was in good health and the men in my life were only good for one thing…a temporary mind fuck.
It is now the 28th of December and I couldn’t have been more wrong. My mother did fall in love in September with a man who couldn’t be more perfect for her. My grandmother passed away last week from a sudden illness and as of this very moment there is a man in my life who is offering me the world.
 I met Mr.R at a friend of a friend of an acquaintance’s new years eve party, held in a scrumptious Pitt street penthouse apartment. The lift took us so high that I thought the clouds were parting and letting us into the gates of heaven. The whole floor was made of glass and the 360 degree views of the city made me slightly woozy. The Queens and I disguised ourselves as well mannered, well spoken girls. Little did this room full of investment bankers and property developers know that we were as wasted as the inside of the hostess’s nose.
“Please don’t do coke in the bathroom” read a handmade cross stitch pattern located neatly in the corner of the marble vanity. Why I had no intention but by the looks of it a few people had already violated the polite request. After what seemed like an eternity I finished peeing and pulled up my Bordelle g-string (only on special occasions like NYE). As i walked out of the bathroom there he was towering above me wearing expensive threads and a wide beaming smile. How typical of me to meet someone in a stranger’s loo.
That was almost a year ago now, however I only got to see him twice before he went away. For seven months of this year his travels took him all over the world from South America to LA. One meditation retreat after another. As you all know my life back in Sydney was far from Zen, as soon as Mr. R left, Bill the reality tv star and healthy chef sauteed into my life cooking up one shit storm after another.
But Mr. R is back, which makes me think that the little old fortune teller wasn’t exactly full of shit.

On my last night in Sydney i decided to catch an Uber to Mr. R’s place in Bondi. Although Uber hasn’t always been 100% reliable (that one time I was stranded in Manly and it couldn’t locate my pickup destination fucking A) I think it’s pretty cool how they are always urging you to try their more luxurious car services…for FREE! How could I say no to that?

While I was on my way to his apartment Mr. R who also fancies himself as a bit of a healthy chef was cooking an amazing meal for my last night in the big smoke. Baked wild fish anyone?




In the last few weeks Mr. R and I had gotten a lot closer and it was safe to say that I was going to miss him and the very beautiful Bondi Beach a lot.

He drove me to the airport and although it was a little sad to say goodbye to him and my beloved Bourke St as soon as my plane took off all of my worries about leaving Sydney slowly slipped away.


So here I am for the next couple of months, kicking it by the sea. Although the Dirthouse Queens have dispersed all over Australia to be with their families over the Christmas period, I will be seeing them very soon to bring in the new year. For now I have been reunited with the gorgeous gals who started it all and what better way to celebrate my homecoming than with a bottle of bubbly at the beautiful Sunshine Beach.








As per usual I got very very intoxicated and ended up running into a couple of ex boyfriends, a handful of family friends and a really hot school teacher I had in year 11. The next day Rach and I decided to hit the beach. Even in peak holiday season the locals know where to go to soak up the sun in relative peace and quiet.



However Mr. R wasn’t far from my mind. Lucky for me when I got home these beautiful pink roses were waiting for me. Good news lovers, Mr.R is coming to see me in Noosa in the new year! He wants to teach me how to meditate (quiet my mind – ha good luck to him) and I have promised to show him the best parts of this wonderful place I call home.

Isn’t it funny, as soon as you allow one chapter to end another one starts. Sending light and love to all of you beautiful people over the holiday season. May all of your summer flings be long lived and super saucy.


Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


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The Game
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