Mr A – A Lesson In Time
When I was in college I dated this older guy.
Like most 18-year-old girls the whole club scene was very appealing to me and who better to catch my eye than the resident DJ at a popular Brisbane establishment?
He was super cute, cheeky and a total player.
It was infatuation at first sight.
We dated on and off for my entire first year of uni.
Although it was probably one of the most plutonic relationships I’ve ever had it was also incredibly poisonous at the best of times.
We fought like cats and dogs no, more like lions and bears. He stole my shit, I got banned from his work, he called the police and I once accidentally gave him a black eye then ran away while he went to get ice.
But believe it or not out of a year of absolute mayhem, tears and tantrums eventually came a rather wonderful friendship that I still value to this day.
We don’t speak often in fact we usually only speak when we’re in-between relationships but I guess in a weird way thats when I need him the most.
Truth be told I just got off the phone to him.
“Paigey” he always sounds pleasantly surprised to hear from me, its nice.
“How are you stranger?” I always ask.
And then the conversation begins. We’ll start off with the mundane things like hows study? (he’s one of those guys who has many unfinished degrees, a jack of all trades to put it nicely). And then in a round about way he’ll ask about my love life.
Today he didn’t sound the least bit surprised when I told him I had been dating an older guy and that it had recently ended due to my dramatic ways and the obvious lack of potential relationship growth.
Mr. A always puts things in perspective for me. Once upon a time I was a young college girl crying over him, a man that at the time seemed so hard to figure out. Like the end of any relationship you always find it difficult to imagine how you could ever see your significant other in any other way. You feel like that phone call will be the last phone call, that kiss will be the last kiss and calling it quits means enduring the pain of feeling like that person will be removed from your life forever. Yet now, years later I speak to him on the phone with a warm familiarity. And at the end of the conversation today he said something, something that would have been so significant and “life changing” if only he had said it years ago whilst I was still living in my little dorm room in Brisbane.
He said, you know I love you Paige. You’re a special one.
Unfortunately it doesn’t mean as much to me now because I’m too busy willing someone else to love me but it does help me to realise that its all good. And if its not all good now, it will be eventually.
As corny as it may sound time does heal a broken heart and that was my lesson from Mr A (pictured above).
Each guy serves a purpose in your life, each relationship no matter how small will teach you a lesson that will benefit you in your future dating experiences.
When you end a relationship it’s hard to see past the initial pain of a breakup, but if you start to see relationships like a compilation of tracks on a loop – some songs are great, some songs are exciting and some songs are meh, the point is that if you keep on playing you’ll eventually find a song that sticks in your head.
And that one song that you are struggling to get over now…well let it go, move onto the next track – and in time and it will eventually come back around. You might hear it at the supermarket or bump into it at the gym and when you do you might just find that a new even more fabulous tune is already stuck in your head.
For now, just dance.
Thanks for the song recommendation Mr A