Fear of the Feed


If I didn’t have to check Facebook for work, I wouldn’t go on ever again.
I came to this conclusion just now.
Why? Because the goddamn thing is out to get me that’s why!
For some reason I always find the most uncomfortable stuff at the top of my feed. 
It’s never a picture of a mean girl I went to school with who got fat or pregnant or both, it’s always, ALWAYS something I don’t want to see.
At 6:30 am every day I jump on the Bok as my co-worker calls it to check for saucy lingerie updates on Maple HQ’s page, unfortunately there’s no direct route. To get there I always have to go to my personal home page first, which I personally f*cking hate.
Let me give you a few examples…
Today it was merely moments after I opened my eyes (which would have rather remained shut for another few minutes or hours) and jumped on that I was struck by a photo that made me so jealous I wanted to cry.
Ms B looking hot and tan riding little bike under the Eiffle Tower and under that was a whole album of their travels! 
But the absolute worst happened merely moments ago. Something so shocking it immediately compelled me to crush my empty coffee cup in my hand like in the movies.
I went on to post a picture of our latest style, which I love and was immediately eye raped with a sight I LOATH. 
A selfie of my ex and another GIRL.
What even the fuck is this Facebook you cruel mistress?!
If anyone has a secret IT code to further prevent this please post below and/or if you feel my pain and would like share your experience comment below also.
Until then I will continue to live in fear of my feed. 

Oh the internal struggles of being a 20 something in the 21st century. 

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

2 Comments

Anonymous
Reply August 10, 2014

Click the little arrow on the right hand side next to their name, click 'unfollow" You will still be friends but their updates won't make it onto your newsfeed. Best thing is they won't know you have hidden them and you get to live life blissfully unaware of the daily escapades. Oh and bookmark your work Facebook homepage so you don't have to go through your own page. Xx

    Paige Bourke
    Reply August 12, 2014

    Thanks anon - you're a genius that has saved me a lot of adult tantys! xxx

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