Dinner at HIS – 10 Tips in Dining Etiquette

There are 3 offers a girl should never refuse.

  1. A free coffee
  2. An upgrade on a long haul flight
  3. And when a man offers to cook you dinner at his place.

Now I can’t tell you how to get a free coffee or an upgrade (legally) but I can give you some tips for when a man invites you to dine with him. Listen closely…

Tip #1 of having dinner at a man’s house: Always ask if you can bring something.

Yes, looking forward to it! Need me to bring anything? – Me

Great – me too. No just your lovely self… – Mr R

Over the past 3 years my relationship with Mr R has matured like a fine wine, which is rare considering they usually go off like a milkshake left in the sun.

It could be his calm, rational character that has preserved our affair for so long or maybe it’s just because he feeds me… well.

Whatever he’s putting in his cookn’…it’s addictive! Anywayyyyyy…It was early last Sunday evening when I stepped into his stylish Bondi apartment to the smell of ribs slow cooking. I shed my coat and placed my bag on the table, meanwhile noticing that he’d expanded his balcony and gotten rid of the TV.

“I prefer to listen to music” he said causally.

Dream man status ladies!

Tip #2 of having dinner at a man’s house: A lady must always offer to help prepare the meal, then gracefully disappear onto the balcony before he has time to respond.

Tip #3 It helps if he has a balcony and doesn’t live in his parent’s garage.

Tip #4 Don’t get distracted. Remember what you’re here for ladies! The food. Always be excited and ask what’s on the menu.

“Slow cooked pork ribs with the best salad you’ll ever have… I picked up the recipe in Costa Rica” said Mr R preparing the red onion.

Tip #5 You love Costa Rican salads, in fact red onions are your favourite food!

Tip #6 Only drink alcohol if he’s drinking alcohol, but then again I never was a very good girl…

I had a glass of pinot noir and he had a green tea. We talked about travel and property and before we knew it the ribs were ready!

Tip #6 If you want to preserve your make-up do not eat the ribs.

Tip #7 If you want to look deliciously sexy then eat the ribs and suck on the bones.

Tip #8 Always complement him on his efforts and have seconds.

Tip #9 After dinner always offer to help clear the table and wash the dishes. Once you’re done, retrieve your coat and ask him kindly to drive your drunk ass home. Oh you didn’t think you were expected to… Ladies remember that dinner and a show is something else entirely!

Tip #10 Never take anything I say after a couple of wines too seriously.

So he’s cooked a delicious meal for you, now it’s time for you to return the favour. If you do decide to stay the night then breakfast is your time to shine. See how I measured up here.Good luck 😉

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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