F*ck. A Reflection Of Last Nights Events.

There are some times when I wish my life wasn’t like an episode of Neighbours, and right now would probably be one of them. Although my lucid love affairs with men are exciting and highly dramatic they are usually fleeting and leave me wondering why I even bother dating in the first place. This exact time a week ago I met a man who gave me all those great feelings that you get when you meet someone new. A week later it is as if we never met. Social media friendships terminated and a phone call saying loud and clear that this friendship will never progress. This is all the result of one ungodly night on the town.

These are the highlights of last night:
  • A bottle of white
  • A bottle of Red
  • A bottle of Moet
  • Ramblings with an accountant, an architect and a limo driver
  • An argument between myself and the guy who plays Cam of Modern Family
  • A drunken cab ride to an address that is not mine
  • a sudden disagreement with the guy I was seeing
  •  Me walking away from his house with my dress unzipped and tears running down my face
  • A cat in an alleyway
  • A fall
  • An even more drunken cab ride to an address of an ex boyfriend (who also happens to be the best mate of the guy I was dating).
  • A drunken rant to my ex about how he has shit friends
  • Waking up alone, devouring half a bottle of ice magic and a frozen pie and smashing two glasses in the process, which I swept under the table with my foot.
 At 10 o’clock this morning I left his house in last nights outfit minus one bra, plus one massive cut on my foot and stood
on the street, waiting for Queen K to rescue me from this nightmare. We all sat on Queen L’s bed like we usually do, I cried- they listened. We ate chocolate, laughed over pictures from last night and then we listened to Daryl Braithwaite
Knowing I’d fucked up I sent the guy I was dating a message explaining to him that I was sorry and that I didn’t remember
what happened last night but that I liked him. I picked my mum and brother up from the airport, we went for a walk and ate more chocolate and then at 1pm I passed out. I slept for five hours, It felt like the deepest sleep I’ve ever had.
When I woke up I had two messages, one from my ex saying that he couldn’t believe what I’d done and another from the guy I was dating saying that we shouldn’t see each other again. I wanted to cry, I wanted to call the guy I was dating and try to make him give me another chance but instead I went down stairs and gave my mum a big hug- which is something that I haven’t done since moving to Sydney.
I sent them to go get dinner so I could write about it, so I could sit here for a moment alone and feel like absolute shit
and then by putting pen to paper or fingers to the key board I wrote it down and slowly I started to feel better. Of course I’m still ashamed of my behaviour and wonder if I’ll ever see either men again but somehow by reaching out to you…complete strangers/consolers/friends I feel less phased by the events of last night and more comforted that someone out there (whoever is reading this) knows the real me regardless of my drunken ways.
Below are the photos from last night, they are blurry like my memory, Enjoy!
HAHAHA, staring us down. Sorry Cam.
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


Reply May 17, 2013

What was the argument about with Eric (Cam)?Is he funny like he is in Modern Family?or just a prick?

    Miss P
    Reply May 17, 2013

    Unfortunately Anon he was indeed, a bit of a prick.

    To be honest I don't remember 100% of what happened but i'm happy to recount what I'm my eyes was a really funny event. All I know for certain is that he was absolutely nothing like his character - in fact Eric couldn't have been more further from Cam.

    I'm going to post another blog sometime this afternoon detailing what actually went on that night for people like yourself who seem pretty intrigued :)

    Thanks for your comment and have a great weekend xx

naina ali
Reply September 13, 2014

thanks for sharing your post with us
Sydney Airport Limousine Transfers

Reply September 16, 2016

This made me giggle, definitely reminds me of a few drunken nights where I've woken up and had to send the dreaded apology message. Chloe (A Cold Cup of Chloe) xx

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