With Love From Berlin: Day 1


Do you like techno? Do you like graffiti? Do you like…beer?” My cool, alternative guy friend questioned when I told him I was going to Berlin.

Nein to all the above” I felt as though I had just failed a really important Cosmo quiz.

You see there’s not a bone in my body that can be described as alternative, underground or edgy which was painfully obvious that time I went to a Byron Bay festival and hated it. (Read it here). 

From my Netflix subscription to my non organic tampons, I’m as mainstream as they come.

As I boarded the plane at Sydney international airport a little voice inside my head wearing a fedora and a pair of Cons said “You’re not cool enough”.

It kindly shut up after a glass of filthy aeroplane shiraz and a sleeping pill.

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30 hours later…

I don’t know what slum my friend was sleeping in because the scenery from Berlin Tegel airport to our hotel in Charlottenburg was so picturesque and charming that I could barely contain my excitement.

 That’s the thing about European cities, you can never escape the element of historic beauty.

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Skip to the hotel and my thoughts are…

This can’t be right for $175 euros a night. Sure, I didn’t expect a tent (which is what you’ll get in NYC) but I didn’t expect luxurious five star accomodation either. Is that a chandelier in my suite and champagne chilling on ice?

One of my first impressions of Berlin is that it is a very fab and affordable city! A notion that I wished was more mainstream in Sydney. 

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Time to tame these locks and get ready for dinner…But before I could take a seat at the hotel bar jet lag took ahold of me. Okay maybe it’s time for sleep.

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The next day I explored the high street. My other assumption was that there would only be thrift stores in Berlin where you could buy rabbit hats and other bespoke pieces. Wrong again! Behold the most amazing Zara, H&M and department stores you’ve ever seen. Thanks for sending all the shitty, leftover styles to Australia. #champagneproblems.

Ohhh chocolaterie…

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Berlin is now the third most visited city in Europe surpassing Rome. With beautiful streets, restaurants and great shopping but excuse me how do you say…

Where are all the men?

Wo sind all die Männer?

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That’s the thing about the affluent, well-suited neighbourhood of Charlottenburg. There are plenty of quaint coffee shops and cobbled streets but no gent-in-the-street-freak-in-the-sheets types that I was expecting to meet.

And what about all of the saucy Londoners that I was told had fled the most expensive city to seek out a more relaxed way of living in Berlin?

I bet they’re all sitting on an old drum stool outside somewhere “cool, alternative and edgy”.

Wherever they are I’ll find them.

With love from Berlin,

Miss P x

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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