Tea Time at Harrods


Sometimes it’s nice to feel just a little fucking fancy and Harrods in London is the perfect place to get your fancy fix.

With gold and black Egyptian style escalators and 6 levels of designer goodness, no wonder it is the number one shopping destination for cashed up tourists and bored trophy wives.

Escape the hustle and bustle of the first level food court and take the opulent elevator up to the top floor. Beyond the Burberry and other luxury travel accessories lie a classic English Tea Room.

My eyes drift over the exuberant prices on the display menu, ouch! and then I remember it’s in pounds and I instantly feel faint and need to sit down.

Pairs of women sit at tables for four. Two seats for them and two seats for the leather French companions.

Despite the fact that the Tea Room’s specialty is a blend of green and jasmine, the beverage of choice seams to been sparkling wine and calorie free black coffee.

Since I am minus one Peruvian Prince and plus one pair of stretchy jeans I decide to order ‘The Chelsea’. The Chealsea consists of scones, jam and cream, a pot of English breakfast tea and two espesso’s please.

The waitress stops to tell me a story of Princess Diana and her lover Dodi Fayed. We all know of the illicit love affair that ended in tragedy, but I wasn’t aware that it was Fayed’s father who created Harrods. Before their death they were seen drinking champagne in Paris (as you do) The waitress told me that those exact champagne glasses and the secret engagement ring Fayed was meant to give to the princess remained preserved in glass on the very bottom floor of this building. After his son’s death the father created this memorial to celebrate the couples eternal love.

I was so consumed in the story that I had failed to notice my sleeve had slipped into my cup of tea, oh dear, how fancy of me!

I couldn’t leave Harrods without purchasing something.

Did I purchase a) a rare diamond ring carved by 12 wise monks or b) a Christmas ornament from the least expensive section of the department store?

Ok so it may not be a diamond ring but this key sure will look fancy on my Christmas tree!

Oh how time flies when you’re living the charmed life.

“Waiter, check please.”

“Can I give you any further direction Madame?” She asked me as she took the rest of my money.

“Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the closest MacDonalds please?”

After this spending spree, fast food will be the only thing I can afford to eat!

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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