Aussie Girls in New York City


Unlike the bitter chill of Sydney, New York in August is hotter than Smith Jerrod’s chest.

August is also the time when all of the rich and famous New Yorkers escape to their beach side mansions in the Hamptons, while the rest of us wide eyed tourists are left in the city to marinate on top of a tour bus.

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As my slightly pink thighs stuck to the hot plastic seat and sweat dripped down my back I couldn’t help but feel on top of the world. At last I was in New York!

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Not even the thug in Harlem who mouthed “fuck off” to the bus from the sidewalk could get me down.

My initial plan to walk the length of Central Park quickly failed once I realised It was over 5km long and that’s how I ended up here under the sweltering sun listening to a guide in his seventies cough and splutter into the microphone.

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And to your right you will see the Metropolitan Muesum where…

Sarah Jessica Parker wore a controversial (hideous) tartan gown by Alex  McQueen at the 2006 Met Gala!!

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A 48 hour tour bus pass is a great way to cover the vast size of Manhattan.  There are countless tours to choose from which will allow you to explore New York City and the five boroughs but if you really want to get down and dirty with the city that never sleeps the best thing to do is to hit the town with your girlfriends and throw caution to the wind.

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A good friend of mine from Noosa had been in New York for the last few weeks modelling and travelling (as you do). When I couldn’t catch Kate for high tea at The Plaza because I was hopelessly lost in Brooklyn we agreed to meet up that evening for a martini.

Let’s meet at The Standard, there is a cool rooftop there. Is 10:30 okay for you? It’s funny New Yorkers don’t even have dinner until like 11!”

Sounds good!” I replied wondering which snack was going to feign off my hunger until then.

“Cool! Dinner is Bodega Negra (yummy cocktails) and Avenue is a club/lounge in Meatpack that we can go to after! It will make for a great post for the blog! :)”

Kate having just started a blog of her own (ninefivenoir)  knew the importance of great material for posts. While I as a lost twenty-something in NYC knew the importance of great company and delicious cocktails.

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I finally made my way home from Brooklyn through peek hour traffic and we agreed to meet at the rooftop bar, Le Bain at The Standrd hotel at 10:30PM.

At 10:20pm I found myself totally and utterly lost. Little did I know The Standard had several different venues. One moment I was 30 stories high in the sky in a room with metalic gold walls and a hostess that looked like Cindy Crawford and the next I was being led through a dark tunnel by a drunk girl who had appeared to have lost her skirt.

“This is it” the girl slurred before disappearing into the toilets.

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The room was dark, the air moist and it was like a smoke machine had exploded. There were people slow grinding on the dance floor and beyond them a huge frothy jacuzzi. I felt like I had just enetered the New York bar equivalent of a rape dudgeon.

Where the fuck is Kate? I had no wifi and no reception and therefore felt totally useless. And then I noticed a rather attractive couple disappearing up a staircase. It’s either the orgy room or exactly where I need to be. I bit the bullet, climbed the stairs and finally emerged onto the rooftop. The combination of fresh air and the stunning view of Manhattan was breath taking.

Kate was over at the bar ordering drinks. I ran up to her with a great sense of relief.

Thank fuck Katie!

We both laughed at the state of the club downstairs and then she introduced me to her friends who were also from Sydney.

It’s impossible not to be impressed by The Standard rooftop which overlooks the Hudson and the Highline, but the view that it’s most famous for, is it’s leggy blondes aka ‘The models’…

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We toasted our cocktails “to Aussie girls in the big city!” and as I was a NYC newbie I sat back and listened to all of their crazy adventures from the last two weeks.

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I soon learned that while it might not pay ($) to be a model in New York it certainly opens some very exclusive doors. It was so lovely to see Kate who despite her stunning good looks is actually one of the kindest, funniest and smartest girls I know. We took a few more snaps (until I found one where I looked half decent next to a model) and celebrated the fact that we were still loving life outside of Noosa and hadn’t managed to get pregnant…yet.

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At midnight I bid farewell to my fabulous Aussie friends. While I would have loved to join them at Avenue, I had already committed to ‘church’ in the morning.

I made my way back down the steps, past a couple making out in the jacuzzi and down onto the street. The Meatpacking district was buzzing with excitement, I walked up the road a little further to hail a cab.

And then I saw it, the original bar made famous by one of my favourite movies…Coyote Ugly.

I had recently read that after 22 years this New York institution, Hogs and Heifers would be forced to close its doors due to crazy rent prices in a neighbourhood that once thrived only on its reputation.

So I decided to go in and pay my respects by ordering a Budweiser, which soon turned into five Budweisers and a shot of tequila with a group of Irishmen who also understood the importance of sexy bar dancing. 

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I left Hogs and Heifers at 4am and met a friend on the corner of East 43rd Street for the most deliciously cheesy slice of 99c pizza and a $1 can of coke. Classy.

What can I say – You can’t fight the moonlight or the city that never sleeps.

But this Aussie girl must be off to bed for tomorrow represents the most important day of her trip.

The Sex and the City tour. Laugh all you want but it’s my religion.

Amen x

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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