A Day in LA feat. Jay Sean, a Grey Hair and Julia Robert’s Veiny Forehead


Hello?? Are you there!?” It was 2 am in Australia and dad was freaking out that I’d been picked up on the side of West Hollywood by some sex trafficking maniac. “Dad I’m fine! xox” I replied, my greasy finger sliding all over the screen. After nearly two weeks of pre holiday dieting and a sleepless 14 hour plane trip I thought I definitely deserved the medium (Australia sized large) In-n-Out fries I was shovelling into my mouth. A wave of fast food induced sickness washed over me. Ok maybe I’ll just rest for a minute before I tackle the chocolate shake.

After I finished I felt really, really good. While it was most likely the artificial sugar high, once described in Supersize Me, I decided to put this sudden surge of happiness down to the perfect summer air and picturesque palm trees that lined the streets in front of me.

It was official I had finally lost my USA virginity. First stop on my fabulous American adventure…

Los Angeles!

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LA has many delightful attractions and hot spots, my personal favourites aside from In-n-out Burger of course are Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive. Why? It makes even the most unknown, top heavy, twenty something Australian wanna be writer feel at least like a D grade celebrity. Simply grab yourself a Starbucks iced coffee, a cute pair of sunglasses then try and find your way around LA without a car and you’ll look like you’ve stepped off the set of Clueless.

One of my favourite movies of all time is Pretty Woman. Did you know: Julia Roberts was so nervous to film the sex scene with Richard Gere that a vein popped out of her forehead, the director had to jump into bed with them and rub her vein until it disappeared. I know I should have been a tour guide!

After we dropped our luggage off at the apartment I was itching to get to Rodeo Drive where the illustrious shopping scene took place!

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How did I get the above high angle shot from my red Ferrari California T convertible? That’s movie magic baby (or just the epic view from a really ugly tour bus) Well worth the $30 day pass and humiliation.

And on the left you will see a quaint boutique…

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Rodeo Drive is so beautiful you could literally lie on the ground in your grannie undies and take a shot that looks like a Vogue editorial, I mean look at those navy awnings…

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You never know who you might see in Beverly Hills so I invested in this $19.99 dress off the sale rack at Zara on Hollywood Boulevard. I accessorised with a pair of Dolce and Gabanna sunglasses that I haven’t yet managed to leave in a taxi, and bob’s your uncle! Noosa-Sydney-Califonia chic.

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Just as I was reliving the Pretty Woman shopping scene in the center of Rodeo Drive I saw Jay Sean strolling up behind me. I decided that this would be the perfect Hollywood ‘meet cute’ as my hair just happened to be blowing like a natural wind machine.

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I’d like to say we lived happily ever after but unfortunately my Jay Sean look alike was meeting with his Victoria Secret Model look alike gf across the road and I ended up finding my first grey hair. Not the Hollywood ending I was hoping for.

I decided to drown my sorrows with a cocktail at the Cheesecake Factory, which isnt actually a little sweet patisserie, but a big restaurant with heaps of yummy savoury things.

Welcome to Beverly Hills where the cocktail menus have no prices but the number of calories are listed underneath every heading.

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My layover in LA was everything I imagined it to be which is a pretty amazing when you’re a 21st century drama queen who sees the world through a Valencia filter and lies awake at night imagining life through the eyes of the Kardashian family. Yes my expectations were high but the California native palms were higher. They say the sky is the limit in America. I can’t wait to see what else she has to offer!

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Three Things Every LA Virgin Must Know Before They Pop Their Cherry:

1. Nobody walks in LA. Everyone has a car. If you are too afraid to rent one and risk driving on the other side of the road don’t worry! Taxi’s are so last week. Uber is everything in LA! An Uber X ride is so cheap, it’s crazy! A taxi ride to from Hollywood Boulevard to LAX is at least $60 US but an Uber X only cost me $22 for a 45 minute journey! It will also give you the chance to meet some cool locals that drive on the side of their regular gigs, we met musicians, actors and Beverly Hills real estate agents just by using Uber X. Cheeky Tip: As Uber is intended to be a cashless experience you are not required to tip.

2. Don’t forget tax! What you see is not necessarily what you get when it comes to US prices. On the brunch menu your latte ($4) and your bagel ($6) might add up to $10 but if you rock up to the counter with only a tenner you’re in trouble as tax is always added later!

3. Tipping รฉtiquette. On the bottom of every bill (or check as American’s like to call it) there will be courtesy tipping guidelines. The minimum is usually 15%. Keep those dollar bills handy as you are expected to tip for everything from your dinner to your mani/pedi.

Next stop New York City!

x

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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