Dicks & Dresses


This morning I woke up to a picture of a naked man on my phone…the message above it read:

I slept in and I feel naughty


The first thing I did was not check the photo but check the time.

Shit it’s 10:30am

As I swept the sleep out of my eyes I pondered the fact that I’m probably not going to have time to do my morning run. What time am I meeting Chris again? 1:30pm thats right. Must send back that dress today and inquire about another size.

I then remembered that there was a photo of a naked man on my phone.

I checked it…double tapped my screen to zoom into some particular places and then I locked my phone and went to the bathroom.

Must also write that piece on chest hair today was my only other thought.

Moral of the story is don’t send me a naked selfie even if you’re feeling naughty. If I directly ask for it (which is seriously unlikely) thats fine but if you unexpectedly send me a high angle shot of your manhood it only indicates one thing…your ego is bigger than your dick.

And you can be damn sure that after that little presentation I’m not stroking either of them.

Have a fabulous day all! πŸ˜‰ xxx

P.s this is the dress I bought…nice eh?

Find it here at Wilde Willow

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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