DD, Frisky Dupont and The Corner Suite


As I swing open the big black DH door I remember what it felt like to enter this dilapidated premises years ago. When I first moved in there was little sign of life in his house. Upon entering the long thin hallway looked dark and abandoned. The house smelt of mould and a thick layer of dust glimmered over every surface.

Although I still remember exactly how I felt when I first moved in, the ambiance is very different now.

The hallway is lined with vintage bikes and high heels scattered generously along the freshly painted skirtings. A fresh bunch of flowers sit on a mismatched table with an old issue of Vogue to accompany the arrangement.

Queen B pops out from from behind her door.

“The bitch is back” she chimes opening her arms and nearly strangling me to death.

We sit on her bed and she begins to tell me everything that I have missed in the last three days.

The Queens went to Love, Tilly Devine (a hidden cocktail bar in Darlinghurst) and met a young man who for the sake of this blog I’ll call DD.

Queen B is beaming as she tells me about DD. From what I gather between bursts of ‘ohmygod’ and ‘nofuckingway’ he is a very successful business man, with several companies to his name and quite a healthy bank account. Now don’t get me wrong this sort of resume never phases The Queens however something else had gotten Queen B’s tongue wagging.

Apparently DD is notorious for enjoying polygamous relationships with groups of friends, he’d heard about The Dirthouse and wanted to know if he could live in The Dungeon (our spare room).

We were both in fits of laughter. Although he’d already met the other girls Queen B informed me that he was curious about ‘the brunette’ (me). This was one cocky mother fucker I thought to myself. There was also an open invitation for this weekend at his house in Double Bay.

I was happy to see that there was some interesting progress being made at The Dirthouse while I was away.

I picked up my bags and continued down the hallway into the living room where Queen K was pacing back and forth with what appears to be a script in hand.

“I went out into the showroom to mingle with guests and flirt with guys like I normally do, it helps them engage with me on stage.” she recites seductively.

Once she notices I’m home we hug for what seems like eternity.

She fills me in on what’s she’s doing. Queen Q informs me that tomorrow she’s acting for  small production, her character is a burlesque dancer named Frisky Dupont.

 I read the breakdown of the piece. Frisky Dupont sounds exactly like Queen K. ‘She grew up in the suburbs in a middle class family as the youngest of three siblings, a brother and a sister…she was in a long term relationship with blah whom she met a year out of school and was jealous of her rather sexy routines.’

“This piece was written for you wasn’t it?” I ask her.

“mmmm.” she replies sheepishly, fully aware of what I’m talking about.

There’s something going on there I think to myself but I’m too tired to perform any further investigation.

I head upstairs to the Queens quarters with my bags in toe. Queen L pounces as soon as I get to the top of the stairs. She’s delighted to see me but I can’t tell whether it’s because she genuinely is or she’s just a little drunk. She’s drunk.

She explains how she had just gotten back from drinks with a guy but thats not what’s on her mind. She’s talking about a hotel room that has been booked for her in the city this weekend…not just any hotel room but the corner suite at the QT. My mouth waters…

“You’re welcome to come for a drink.” she says.

“I need to go to bed.” I reply.

I really do. I’ve been away from The Dirthouse for three days and this is what I come home to…more excitement and drama than ever before.

I lay down on my bed and try to sleep but something else on my mind. I grab my phone and dial Queen B’s number (lazy I know). She answers immediately.

“What does DD stand for?” I ask.

I listen intently as she reveals the full name and it’s origin. I can hear her laughing through the cracks in my floor boards. I’m also in stitches.

Maybe we do have room for DD in The Dungeon after all πŸ˜‰

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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