I’m writing this post on a napkin whilst waiting for my date to arrive.
He better be hot, smart and rich otherwise I don’t have time for this shit.
Something flies past me at lighting speed, oh hey there life maybe you can chill the fuck out for one second so that I can catch my breath or at least get my eyebrows waxed.
I have been working everyday since forever and although I’ve gotten to the point where I can effortlessly educate common folk on the difference between water and silicone based lubricant, I haven’t had time to write a damn thing.
I’m assuming that this close to Christmas you are all feeling the heat. With deadlines looming and the constant reminder that the silly season is right around the corner.
It is essential that in this time of mayhem you utilise your time wisely. Wake up an hour earlier so that you can fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise, prepare all of your meals at the start of the week and remember to do your washing.
Or you can get through this busy period like me doing absolutely none of the above.
A typical day for me at the moment looks a little something like this:
6:00am Alarm goes off – automatically hit snooze while still dreaming about Ed Lower from Big Brother
8:00am groan loudly, reach over to grab my phone but accidentally knock it off the side table
8:03am (yes it just took me three whole minutes to pick my phone off the floor) check my phone for messages/emails/missed calls.
8:03am Takes me no time to realise that I have 0 messages, 0 emails and 0 missed calls but I do have a notification of a new love quote