Welcome to Hollywood – Mardi Gras 2014!

Right now the Oscars are taking place in Hollywood – A visual buffet of glitz and glam. All of Hollywood’s best players under one roof, a cluster of porcelain veneers, sweeping gowns and radiant skin. At the height of the gala Aussie beauty Cate Blanchett receives the oscar for best actress. Tears fill her eyes as she acknowledges where her acting career began. Blanchett goes on to praise The Sydney Theatre Company before clutching her gold statue and saying with great emphasis, “There is just so much talent in Australia”. A rousing applause erupts from the academy.

Meanwhile in Sydney, Australia…
 I’m lying on the couch pouring a potent green liquid into my mouth “heal me, heal me” I splutter. Ms P is slouched over on a cane chair stuffing her face with cheeseburger pizza. An illustration on her forearm of the word ecstasy with a love heart has been transferred onto her face sometime during the night.
Ahhh my face, my eyes, my throat, my face! I haven’t had a pash rash this bad since the year 10 blue light disco and I haven’t been this hungover for a year. Come to think of it the last time I was in this much pain was exactly 365 days ago. You may remember a post I did about Mardi Gras 2013, better known as the night I dressed up as Pretty Woman Bob Irwin. Mardi Gras last year here
This year the girls and I were invited to a Hollywood themed house party in Darlinghurst to celebrate the annual Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade.


With a little help from our friends at Base warehouse we were able to transform ourselves from drab to fab (yes those are fake ciggies in our $2.95 cigarette holders).

It’s safe to say that Ms P, the Dirthouse’s newest addition has had no problem making herself at home in the dilapidated mansion. She has fully embraced all of the DH’s rituals including inhaling vodka shots on a Saturday afternoon and getting unbelievably shit faced while still looking classy as fuck.

Queen B looked as though she had just stepped off the red carpet with her scrumptious up do and 1920s inspired makeup.

There’s always time for a few quick mirror selfies…


And then as per usual things started to get well…a little blurry.

Somehow we eventually made our way to the house party, conveniently located above the parade. Let’s get ridiculous!!

Mardi Gras always raises the serious questions for me.

Why have one shitty, inconsiderate straight boyfriend when you can have two half naked gay boyfriends?

Why spend thousands of dollars on a designer outfit when you can just wear straws and still look unbelievably fabulous?


Why give a fuck what other people think about you, when you can just be happy and love everyone?

I love Mardi Gras and I feel so privileged to live in a city that celebrates the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex communities not only at the beginning of March but all year long.

There is however one thing I despise about the festival and that is the way I always manage to get insanely off my face. There’s always so much love going around that I end up kissing everyone, including the guy at the kebab shop (oh dear).

What can I say that oscar winning actresses haven’t already said before? There is a lot of talent in Australia. From the beautiful boys dancing the in cages at Stonewall to the poor yet ambition group of twenty something girls who wake up with the word ecstasy misspelt on their faces.

Us Aussies not only possess the talent to party hard but the ability to love and accept everyone and that my friends makes me unbelievably proud to be Australian.

Happy Mardi Gras!!

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!


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