ASK MISS P: A Buzzing Solution to Boredom


You know what happens when boredom goes untreated for too long? Your vagina dies and you end up getting your kicks from eating boxes of mini Magnums and laughing at people who cry on TV. Here are the ingredients to inject excitement back into your lifestyle.

Hey Miss P, 

So I need some advice! I’m bored, bored of my everyday life style. My partner isn’t adventurous and doesn’t go out of their comfort zone much and lately I’m feeling really held back because of this, I want to go out and experience new things and places and I want to spice up our time together at home as well. From your experience, what things could I do or plan to enhance our life style a bit? I’m open to all suggestions from dating tips to dining tips and anything in between that could help! Thanks so much x

Dear gorgeous Miss F,

Let’s pull you back from the brink of boredom and inject some freshness back into your lifestyle!

What you’ll need:

  • A We-vibe
  • A new fragrance
  • A bar or restaurant with plenty of darkened corners (my pick in Sydney would be The Roosevelt)
  • A swift exit plan

 

The Experience:

Pour yourself a glass of wine, burn your favourite candle then take the time to pamper yourself. Shave your legs, wax that bikini line and then slip into your favourite dress, the one that your partner loves or more importantly the one that you feel the sexiest in. Make a reservation for a private table or a quiet booth, splurge on an Uber Black and if you don’t live together tell your partner to meet you there out the front at 7pm sharp. Walk up to the door with confidence and kiss your partner lightly allowing them to take in the new intoxicating fragrance on your neck. Then hand your partner the tiny We-vibe remote. They’ll ask ‘What’s this for?‘ That’s when you whisper ‘It’s to control the vibrations between my legs’. Show them how to increase the intensity and then let the excitement begin! Your partner can control the little dual stimulating vibrator hidden in your knickers while they order another round of drinks at the bar. It will turn them on just watching you blush and squirm in your chair.

Want something more discreet? Simply download the We-vibe app. Turn his Iphone into a remote control and then he can control the blissful intensity from anywhere in the world!

Or switch it up and control him with a remote controlled gentlemen’s ring.

The possibilities are endless.

Enjoy!

Miss P x

Side Note: Thank you for your entering the Ask Miss P Competition, I hope you feel as though you’ve just had a bottle of wine and a chat with your bestie minus the hangover and the 2 am Nutella binge. The winner will be announced on the 15th of July 2015. Good luck!
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

2 Comments

Lauren
Reply July 13, 2015

Hey miss p,

So I've been seeing this guy for a while and we pretty only hang out just in the bedroom. I want to spice things up and introduce some toys into our hangouts but I don't want to scare this guy off or think he's not good enough. He is I just want us to explore more! Ah so nervous :(

Rachel
Reply July 15, 2015

Hi Miss P!

So.. The boy I'm seeing is not the typical guy I'd go for. I usually date muscly army style men, alpha males, you know the ones. Anyway all my friends have picked up on my change of direction, my best friend even saying "Wow he's really batting above his average isn't he" which really hurts my feelings because he is the most amazing person I know. Anyway the issue is Im 98% sure he thinks the same thing, one of his friends once muttering that he doesn't think he's good enough. I think this in general is affecting us, in every aspect including the bedroom. What do you suggest I could do to make him feel a little more confident around me and help our relationship progress forward before it falls out from under us???

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