5 Ways to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself on Valentines Day

Rule #1 – of being a big girl in the big
Minimise the amount of times you stay at
home feeling sorry for yourself.
So your tall, rich and handsome lover has
gone to Costa Rica, your other handsome, funny and incredibly witty guy is
spending the night with his kid, your ex who was meant to take you out to
dinner gave up trying to find a reservation because he’s hopeless (but hey you
already knew that), two of your best friends are going to a party dripping with
gorgeous bachelors and your other best friend looks like this:
Because she’s going on a date with the man
that she’s deeply, hopelessly in love with.
None of this means shit because a little
voice in your head is telling you that you lost your only form of ID for a
But as you look out your balcony onto the
city street below you realise that the reason isn’t going to be easy to find. The
first thing you see is a vendor selling perfect long stemmed roses to men on
their way home from work. A girl in a figure hugging satin red dress is hailing
a cab to take her to a reservation at Café Sydney and even the homeless man in
the park is wearing a red hat in celebration of this day of love.
And here you are standing in the dark with
no new messages, no declaration of love and worst of all no proof of identity
so you cant even get sufficiently shitfaced by yourself.
Sorry what was the moral of this story
again? I was momentary distracted thinking of ways TO KILL MYSELF. 
Oh yeah now I remember. One should not feel sorry for ones self especially on Valentines Day. But how exactly do we go about this?
5 Ways to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself on Valentines Day
1. Throw away your phone, or put it in a shoe at the back of your closet. Looking at pictures of Roxy Jacenko’s excessive floral display on Instagram is not going to make you feel better about yourself.
2. Do not permit yourself to lay across your bed and look out the window longingly for more than 30 seconds at a time. This includes throwing head down on pillow in a dramatic manner. Just don’t do it.
3. Whatever you do, DO NOT SIT ALONE IN THE DARK. Put the bloody light on please love.
4. Start feeling sorry for someone else (e.g. watch any reality TV show preferably Kim Kardashian and Co)
5. Realise that this feeling will pass!!! Valentines Day doesn’t last forever (thank fuck).
Above is a picture of me currently taking my own advice, minus the phone thing…what if the love of my life tries to contact me tonight?
Thanks Dad.
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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