5 Things Guys Don’t Think Girls Talk About (But They Really Poo)


 *Boys if you think you know what girls talk about when your not around…you’re wrong. If you prefer to think that us girls sit around and talk about nails, shopping, boys and boys then I would suggest you do not continue to read this article…
and Dad this is the point where you stop
being a supportive parent and exit out of this blog post immediately.
So, last night Queen L got back from a skiing
trip with eight boys (one of those boys being Mr. H. Hanson) and she was telling us how she thought it was funny how they were always apologising for their crude topics of conversation.
We were suddenly intrigued as to what a group of guys could have been saying that was worth apologising for.
But when we asked Queen L to elaborate she just shrugged and said…
“They were only talking about shitting”.
The 5 things guys don’t think girls talk about (but they really poo)
  1.  If guys don’t think that girls talk about their bowel movements then they have got another thing coming. Don’t get me wrong its probably not a topic that comes up when I’m having a catch up coffee with Suzie from News Limited but when I’m hanging out with my close friends and especially the DH Queens, talking about shitting is right up there with talking about sex.
  2.  Sex. Everyone thinks about it so chances are everyone talks about it with their friends too…even the most
    girliest of girls don’t mind sharing intimate details of their sex life with their girlfriends. “Harry has a mushroom penis”, “I like doggie style but I wonder what his view is like from up there?” “Should I get my as*hole bleached? Where does one even get their butt bleached?” “I think he thought my fanny fart was an actual fart and I didn’t know whether to laugh or die”.
  3. These days a large portion of our lives is spent online, connecting with friends, online shopping, engaging
    in filthy yet entertaining blogs such as HOB and watching porn. This may come as a shock for some of you but girls watch porn too, sometimes even as much as guys. Sure we may not take pleasure in watching the same sort of material as you (busty blonde gang-bang, no thanks) but we do have our sources (ladies check out Passion HD).
  4. Contrary to what you think we like (come on fellas you haven’t been all that great at figuring out exactly
    what we want so far) real women actually like real men. Shock, horror! We like your chest hair and we don’t really mind if you’re not shredded and knocking back 50 protein shakes a day. We are more likely to bad mouth you to our girlfriends if you have trouble finishing a meal because its not “carb day” than if you don’t have a six pack. To read more about my fight against men removing their chest hair read here.
  5. Finally, if you haven’t already figured it out by now…girls pretty much talk about the same shit (pun intended)
    as boys do. But because you all have this perfect perception of us in your heads we will rarely ever talk about these things with you. But for those of you who did get this far through the blog even with your subtle warning then understand that…GIRLS DO FART! We did develop pubic hair during adolescence and not all women are victims of unrealistic sexpectations given to men by pornography because if you expect Jenna Jameson in the sack…we want James Deen.
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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