10 Cheap Things You Can Do To Make Yourself Feel More Fancy


Do you know what guys, it’s so easy to feel poor when you are poor but I’m here to tell you now that it’s not the be all and end all!

I’m not going to make like some fancy pants blogger and tell you I get sent free stuff, have a nice apartment with a high tech security system and the luxury of eating avocado for breakfast every day. No. Because that would be bullshit.

Instead I get sent nothing but junk mail, live in a house that uses its dingy brothel like exterior as it’s main form of security and I can’t remember the last time I purchased an avocado without feeling guilty like i’d just chosen a pony over my rent.

Having said that I never feel as though I’m being deprived of the high life. Truth be told there are a few things I do to make myself feel as though i’m living it up on a daily basis. A girl’s got to be prepared for the day that she has millions thrust into her bank account right?

10 Cheap Things You Can do to Make Yourself Feel More Fancy
  1. Always get to your office before everyone else and leave after everyone else so that you have a few private moments a day to pretend like all this shit is yours. Cost – $0

2. Go to nice restaurants for one glass of bubbly during happy hour, pretend that you’re a privileged holiday maker with investment properties all over the world. Cost – Approximately $10

 

3. Sneak into resort pools often. If you live in Noosa I suggest French Quarter or Ocean Breeze. Cost – 20c if you need something to subtly unhinge the gate at South Pacific Resort.

4. Or if you live in Sydney get to know the ABC Pool at the uber chic Wooloomooloo Bay. Cost – Approximately $15

5. Occasionally have your morning coffee at Icebergs Terrace Cafe. If you upload photos like this to your Insta people will automatically think you’re super fancy and live in the surrounding areas even though you’ve come all the way from Mount Druitt for a slightly burnt mocha. Cost – $4

6. Get some hot guy to pay for your extravagant dinners for you…

6.5 Don’t feel bad for him, this bastard broke my heart when I was 17. Cost – Just a little bit of your dignity.

7. Get take away Miss Chu from Bondi and have a picnic in Vaucluse…

Cost- Super amazing steamed prawn & veggie dumplings $14

Cost – the view: priceless, that super yacht: $10000000

8. Have a dinner party in your backyard. Cost – $2 for celery centrepiece
9. Get an Executive Suite at the Shangri-La with your Queens. Cost: $150 each includes pool access, afternoon tea on arrival, free drinks & canapés at 6 pm, buffet breakfast, afternoon tea on departure. Trust me if you’re looking to do something special for someones birthday this is it!

10. Or just have your next Friday night drinks at the Blu Bar (Top floor of the Shangri-la) You don’t need to be a guest or a high roller to indulge in this little piece of heaven.

A bottle of wine amongst friends. Cost – $20 each.

So there you have it my friends, 10 things I do to make myself feel like less of a poor bitch in the big city.

Oh I almost forgot the most important point of all…

Hass Avocados are on special at Coles at the moment!! What did I tell you guys, soon we be living the high lyf!

Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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