1:04am


The world on my google stats page is
lighting up, which means you’re all active. There’s never a time when I don’t
love to see you hanging around here at the Dirthouse but it’s currently 12:35
am in Australia and I’m starting to get mildly pissed off with the fact that I
cant sleep. Through the paper-thin walls I can hear Countess K’s companion
snoring, old mate isn’t even in his own bed and it sounds like he is having the
best sleep of his life. Meanwhile here in he Queens quarters (I’m referring to
myself as a Queen now because I’m starting to become mildly delirious from lack
of shut eye) I’ve got my pillow propped to perfection, a sensual aromatic
candle burning softly and the ever so slight sound of rain pitter pattering
down my balcony window and I still cant fucking sleep. Tea was a terrible
tactic as I now feel like I have to get up to pee every 10 minutes and no
matter how hard I try to resist checking my phone I keep getting these
telepathic vibrations from under my bed (where I hide my phone) telling me that
someone handsome and wonderful with an incredible crop of chest hair has just
texted me proposing marriage and two babies – boy and girl of course.
Oh poo.  I’m losing it.
1:04 am what does Women’s Health magazine
say about people who don’t manage to get at least 7-9 hours sleep a night? They
are more prone to getting fat! I think that was it. Great now I’m not only
going to be sleep deprived in the morning but I’m going to be a fraction fatter
than all of the other Queen’s who are probably sleeping soundly in their beds
as we speak.
Shut up! No, not you…definitely not you –
It’s me…somehow I just need to peel myself away from the computer, get up, do a
wee, turn off the light then go to sleep.
Arggghghggggg
Peeling, peeling, slowly, slowly
Peeeeeeelingggggggg….
Goodnight all x
Miss P
About me

Heaven on Bourke is a lifestyle blog created by Miss P, a twenty-something author of a Pleasure Guide pamphlet most commonly found in luxe vibrator boxes. True story! She loves to travel between her beachy hometown of Noosa and London's upmarket Notting Hill, where she writes a smut column for a lingerie empire. Off duty, Miss P brunches in the city and dates many interesting characters. All findings on real life, sex and love are recorded in this honest lifestyle blog for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy gorgeous!

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